I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
