Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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