i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
