never play flip cup with pint glasses
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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