hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
