You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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