the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
