Do you still have your period?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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