i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
