I am spending my child support on dildos
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
