kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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