??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Randomize
