I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
accomplished twins. life is a go
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
