is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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