I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
