i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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