I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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