Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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