The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Green mimosas i think yes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
