don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
