grandma shit on top of the toilet
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
