i love accidental penises.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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