Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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