i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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