thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
