So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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