Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
