I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
