Pappa wants mamma naked
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
