On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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