Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
