How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
