This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
