he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is Oprah even human
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
