Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
