It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
