I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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