I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
