I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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