so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
