i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
