Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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