I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
