My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
