I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
