doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
