the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
