Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
