If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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