they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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