So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
