she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
