Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
