it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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