It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
