Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
